As the waiter served dessert, Lori La Bey looked around the table at her family and smiled. She couldn’t believe she had pulled this off — her children, her siblings and their children, and her parents all enjoying a Caribbean cruise together. Her mother was living with Alzheimer’s and her father had brain cancer: they had assumed they wouldn’t get to travel again. They were beaming and Lori knew all her planning had been worth it. She was widening the world through travel.
She still treasures the family pictures from this trip. This meaningful travel experience inspired Lori, founder and host of Alzheimer’s Speaks, to orchestrate a cruise for people who are living with dementia and their families.
“Travel is a normal part of life,” Lori says. “When you stop traveling, your world becomes smaller.”
From her years caring for her mom, Lori understands how easy it is to feel isolated and stuck. She also understands the joy of engaging in the world, trying new things, and meeting new people. Her trip enriched her family and she wants to offer others that gift of connection and adventure.
Lori also learned some tips from traveling with her parents. Here are a few ideas for creating a smooth traveling experience for yourself and for someone who is living with dementia:
Create a flexible travel experience. Lori chose cruising because it can be reasonably priced, you can unpack once and stay in the same room the entire trip, and there’s lots of flexibility with eating (including free room service), activities, and touring. Cruising is also ideal for the intergenerational experience, offering activities for all ages.
Make the person living with dementia part of planning the trip. Discuss the trip with all involved, asking for feedback and talking about what each person really wants to do. Incorporate those dreams into the trip.
Empower your travelers. Lori packed all her parents things into one giant suitcase. Her father had always been the one managing the luggage and he really wanted something to carry. “I hadn’t thought to pack a couple of small bags so he and my mom could feel like regular travelers,” Lori says. “People want something to be in charge of so they don’t feel left out.”
Work with a travel agent and make your life easier. Plan in advance for noise, long transfers, layovers, long car rides, and other chaos. If flying, call the airport if you need to arrange for wheelchairs or other inner airport transportation. To mute noises, bring earplugs. Carry along items that soothe and comfort each of us, including favorite music and head phones. If you’re cruising, talk to the cruise lines in advance, discussing special needs, including dietary, medical, and any mobility issues.
Take pictures and videos and document these precious moments. You’ll enjoy looking through these memories again and again together.
“Travel is about being together and widening your world,” Lori says. “It’s a wonderful way to build those moments of magical and meaningful connection.”
For an amazing way to widen your world, consider Lori’s upcoming November Dementia Friendly Conference and Cruise. Lori and a team of educators, including a panel of inspiring people who are living with dementia, have planned a nurturing, connecting, educational, and inspiring Caribbean trip. For more information, visit, https://alzheimersspeaks.com/cruise-with-us
Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.
Alzheimer’s is a democratic disease and no one is immune. Movie stars, politicians, bankers, comedians, business moguls, professors, and homemakers– any one of us could face living with dementia. Karen Love is a founder of the Dementia Action Alliance, which focuses on improving dementia care for the more than five million Americans currently living with the condition. Karen works with governmental agencies to define and improve a person-centered standard of care for elders and for those living with dementia. She’s an inspiring leader and I wanted to share some of her insights with you.
Q and A
Q: What prompted you to form a non-profit and become an advocate for aging and for those living with dementia?
A: Advocacy must be in my DNA. Even as a girl, I was always sticking up for people and their rights. I initially worked as an administrator in assisted living and I became concerned about how fast the industry was growing without paying attention to the needs of its vulnerable residents, particularly those who had dementia. In 1996, I founded a non-profit organization, Consumer Consortium for Assisted Living (CCAL), to advocate for, support and educate consumers about assisted living. After a decade, we renamed the organization CCAL—Advancing Person-Centered Living, and we expanded our mission to encompass all elder care settings. We focused on promoting quality of life and person-centered practices.
Q: You’ve worked with Medicaid and Medicare to help define and implement a mind-set of person-centered care. What does person-centered care mean and why is it so important?
A: The World Health Organization and the Institute on Medicine recognize Person-Centered practices as the gold standard. Person-centered practices support people’s emotional, social, physical, and spiritual well being. They focus on treating people with dignity, fostering choice, independence, and feelings of purpose, value, and self-worth. These practices also help people maintain normalcy in their daily life. I’ve had the honor to help shape the person-centered framework for CMS’s home and community-based division, which support such state-based services as home care, adult day, and assisted living for individuals Medicaid eligible.
Q: You’ve now gathered thought leaders in the fields of aging and dementia, building a coalition of people dedicated to “making dementia better” in our country. What are some of your goals?
A: Our goals include:
- Enhance knowledge about dementia and person-centered care practices so people living with dementia are no longer stigmatized.
- Improve healthcare practitioners’ understanding and knowledge about dementia care, person-centered practices and treatment, and make sure materials are accessible.
- Share information with care partners and healthcare providers about the value of attending to emotional, social, and spiritual well being.
- Increase federal and state funding for dementia-care related support.
Q: What are some inspiring actions that ordinary caregivers or persons living with dementia have taken?
A: Just a couple of examples include:
- Michael Ellenbogen is a person who is living with dementia. Prior to being diagnosed, he was a high-level bank executive. He has become a tireless advocate and spokesperson for dementia.
- Lori La Bey started an online weekly radio program called “Alzheimer’s Speaks” to provide a venue for people to learn about dementia, share their experiences, and be supportive.
Q: What are three easy things each person can do to act as an advocate for those living with dementia?
A: Here are some suggestions:
- There are three ways things change nationally: (1) the President makes it happen (2) Congress makes it happen (3) the groundswell of people’s voices and actions make it happen. There has not been an interest for the first two methods. Historically, method 3 was effective for impacting and changing issues such as HIV/AIDS and breast cancer. The Dementia Action Alliance brings people together so we can be a catalyst for change.
- Words matter. Often people living with dementia, including Alzheimer’s, are called “patient,” “victim,” “demented,” and “sufferer” – and the condition is called a “dementing illness” and an “affliction.” This type of language can impact how people living with dementia feel about themselves and how they are treated by others. Print out “Use Words Wisely” from the website – www.daanow.org/words-matter/- and help educate others about what words to use.
- Email the Dementia Action Alliance at email@example.com about your interest in volunteering. Consider making a financial donation at www.daanow.org The more people involved in the Dementia Action Alliance, the sooner and greater the impact.
Please feel free to share this information with your friends and colleagues. The more we all work together, the more effective our voices will be.
Deborah Shouse is the author of Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.