Activities
Insider’s Tips for Analyzing Activities Programs
My mother had been an artist in her later years, but she stopped painting when she began living with memory loss. Instead, she took comfort in listening to music and in nurturing a baby doll. Ron’s dad studied architecture as a young man, but never had the leisure time to pursue drawing or art. When he moved into a memory care community, he flourished in the Memories in the Making painting program. We worked hard to find care homes that nurtured our parents and my background in healthcare helped us develop a few insider’s tips for analyzing activities programs.
“Families need to share information about favorite hobbies and they also need to be ready for their loved one to try new things and possibly change interests,” says Alisa Tagg, President of the National Association of Activity Professionals. Alisa has helped dozens of facilities build meaningful activity programs.
Here’s an example of how one woman thrived on learning a new skill and giving back:
Mary’s family was amazed when she got involved in a jewelry-making class in the memory care unit. Mary had never thought of making jewelry and she never even wore necklaces, bracelets, or earrings. But she loved beading and was thrilled to share her creative designs with others. Producing something beautiful for others motivated Mary. The facility helped her sell her jewelry and she contributed the money to the activities budget and also donated to charity.
Alisa knows how emotionally challenging it is for families to find good care facilities for their loved ones. Here are some of her insider’s tips for analyzing activities program.
See For Yourself
“You have to view what is going on in the activity room,” she says. “See how the staff interacts with the residents. If there’s an entertainer, is the staff in the back of the room, charting and talking? Or are they in the front, dancing, and singing and engaging with residents and families?”
Look at the activities calendar. Visit the facility at different times and on various days and see if the activities in progress match the scheduled events.
Encourage Engagement
Study the schedule to see how often the residents are engaged, rather than just being entertained. Are they invited to contribute to community service projects? Are they going to sing-alongs or helping with baking projects? People with memory deficits need a variety of activities. Look for a variety of programming that balances the four areas of wellness—spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional.
Visit Programs of Interest
Visit the programs you think your loved one might enjoy.
Find out how many staff members assist in the activities program.
Does the care staff seem aware of the importance of activities? Is there one-on-one assistance for those who want to participate and need extra attention?
Watch for Independent Projects
Is there a place for puzzles, games, cards, and other things people can enjoy independently? Are there opportunities for residents to contribute to their community and to help others around them?
Share Questions and Concerns
“Every facility should have a plan of care meeting, where family can share their expectations and concerns with the nursing staff,” Alisa says. “Ask how your loved one is doing. Share your insights.
A good facility will welcome that meeting.”
Stay Involved
Stay as involved as you can. Helping your loved one connect through meaningful activities may involve trial and error. Get to know the other residents and their families. You’ll stay engaged with your loved one and create a sense of community with a lot of other wonderful people as well. #
To learn more about Alisa Tagg, BA ACC/EDU AC-BC CADDCT CDP and the National Association of Activity Professionals, visit https://naap.info
To delve into creative activities do you can on individual visits, read my latest book, Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together.
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Build Community Through Sharing Stories.
Just blocks from the bustling tourist shops in the port area of Falmouth Jamaica, stands a white stucco Salvation Army Church. Inside this building, we met with local community leaders. We shared stories and information, offering ways to stay connected throughout the dementia journey. We hoped to build community through sharing stories.
Even before we spoke, Shirley Duncan, a volunteer with Alzheimer’s Jamaica, and one of the event organizers, said, “I have a surprise for you.” She spoke eloquently of the need to talk about dementia, to share experiences, and to be there for the caregivers and people living with dementia. Then she told us that today’s participants were making a commitment to form an on-going group that would educate, advocate, and care for those affected by dementia in their community. “We are calling our group Debron, in honor of you two, because you are the catalysts,” she told us.
Ron had been working with Shirley and Dundeen Ferguson of Alzheimer’s Jamaica for several weeks, setting up the presentation. Shirley and Dahlia Klein orchestrated the details, spreading the word among the community leaders, garnering the venue, and making sure all went smoothly. We were thrilled to be catalysts and delighted to be discussing ideas with such a dedicated group of women, many of whom were former teachers.
We shared ideas from Dr. Madan Kataria in Mumbai about the power of laughter yoga, and we told a story about creating an inland beach from, Dr. Claire Craig in Sheffield, England. We talked about the power of Dan Cohen’s Music & Memory program and discussed ways to connect through art, citing a story from Teri Miller in Houston, Texas. And we chatted about ways to stay connected through cooking together, sharing our own favorite childhood dishes, which included spiced shrimp, banana porridge, dumplings, roasted corn with shredded coconut, and so much more.
“We will spread these ideas throughout our community,” one of the women told us. “That is what teachers do, we share information.”
We left feeling so inspired and so connected. This is what we all need, caring people, compassionate and eager to learn, ready to offer help and hope.
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During our presentation, we talked about Dr. Madan Kataria’s Ha Ha chorus. At the end, the women said, “We want to sing you a song.” They serenaded us with the Ha Ha chorus. Watch this video and please, sing along.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B0elXRV1YrIqUkhqNzN3RkhPSUU
For more about Laughter Yoga, visit Madan Kataria’s website, http://laughteryoga.org
Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.
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Making a Difference, One Island at a Time
“We are here to explore meaningful ways to stay connected throughout the dementia journey. We are all going to take what we’ve learned and we need the commitment of all of you to help us reach out to the families living with dementia in our communities,” Raymond Jessurun said when he introduced us at a gathering of healthcare professionals, family caregivers, and government representatives. Raymond, who is Secretary of the St. Maarten Alzheimer’s Foundation, is a passionate and inspiring speaker. He urged everyone to join as volunteers of the Alzheimer’s Foundation to spread the meaningful engagement throughout the island, making a difference, one island at a time.
As a group we discussed many engaging activities, including the joy of singing, the nurturing that animals can offer, the power of looking at art, and the creative conversations that cooking together can inspire. We strategized adding more laughter into the day and the importance of knowing each person’s musical preferences. We were also learned of the challenges family caregivers face, which in residential settings as in the Sint Martin’s Home are being addressed by professional caregivers.
Our host, Bregje Boetekees, Director of the White and Yellow Cross Care Foundation in St. Maarten, was deeply tuned into the importance of offering an array of individualized activities and to the comfort that nature brings to those who are living with dementia. She is overseeing the construction of a new elderly care facility with a large courtyard that will offer safe and ready outdoor access, as well as fertile ground for gardening and other nature-based activities.
As always, we left feeling inspired by each of the people we met. Bregje and her team are constantly exploring ways to enrich the lives of their residents who are living with dementia. Raymond and the board members of the Foundation are an example of how a few compassionate and determined people can make a difference. Just eight years ago, Raymond was struggling to find his mother-in-law the dementia care she needed. His advocacy attracted other caregivers and this year their Foundation, which is recognized by Alzheimer’s Disease International, celebrates its seventh year of serving the community. In June, Raymond is co-coordinating a gathering of leaders of Alzheimer’s organizations of 15 Caribbean countries as a step to forming Alzheimer’s Caribbean. These advocates are making a difference, one caregiver at a time, one facility at a time, one island at a time.
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We invited everyone to join us in Dr. Madan Kataria’s Ha Ha chorus. Watch this and please, sing and laugh along. Click here to view the St. Maarten HaHa Chorus
For more about Laughter Yoga, visit Madan Kataria’s website, http://laughteryoga.org
Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.
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Five Ways to Make Valentine’s Day Special for a Loved One with Dementia
My parents liked to celebrate Valentine’s Day with dinner and dancing. Years into my mom’s Alzheimer’s journey, my parents’ love hadn’t diminished, but my mom’s capacity for going out to dinner and dancing had drastically decreased. I saw how blue my father was—one more event he had to give up, one more change in the woman he loved—and I searched for alternatives that might cheer him up. Here are five ways to make Valentine’s Day special.
Look for a favorite thing. Seek one simple pleasure your loved one might enjoy. Mom loved potato soup and chocolate and fresh strawberries. These were part of our celebration.
Nurture yourself: include your own favorite thing. Bring yourself into the celebration and include something that makes you happy. I brought foods my father and I both liked as part of our little party.
Pick several ways to express your love. Poetry, music, gifts, flowers, and photo albums—you can use any of these resources as a catalyst to talk about your feelings. Dad and I sang Mom old show tunes and love songs, music she really enjoyed. Mom adored Shakespeare; we had a couple of sonnets on hand. She and Dad had once created a beautiful flower garden; Dad brought her a single red rose.
Take joy in the simple act of expressing yourself. Being with my mom was a chance to really practice the mythical “unconditional love.” Mom couldn’t tell me she loved me. During one Valentine’s Day celebration, she fell asleep while I was holding her hand and talking sweetly to her. But there was a comfort in expressing my love and I kept on talking.
Celebrate love in all its glorious guises. During their long marriage, my father had walked into a room millions of times and often, Mom had been busy and hadn’t particularly smiled or remarked. But with her dementia came a deep dependency on Dad. When Dad walked into a room, my mother’s face lit up. My father basked in that light. The sparkle in my mother’s eyes was the new, “I love you, darling.” The light said everything my mother could no longer say.
Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.
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Tuning into Music for Connection: Helping Children Accept Dementia
“Oh what a beautiful morning,” I warbled. My mom clapped and hummed along. At the end of the song, she applauded. In her earlier days of motherhood, she might have winced slightly when I wandered off-key. But in the cradle of dementia, she was delighted with my smile, my energy, and the sheer sound of my voice. And I was delighted to be tuning into music for connection.
Carol Bradley Bursack, an author, speaker, family care partner and creator of Minding Our Elders, recently told me the story of how she helped her teenage children stay connected with their grandfather. I loved her ideas and wanted to share her tips with you.
Tuning into Music for Connection
When he was in his 70s, Carol’s father went into surgery to help repair brain damage from a World War II injury. The doctors expected no issues, but during the operation, something went awry. Her beloved father emerged from the procedure deep in dementia, with a constant voice in his head, and no grasp of reality. Valiantly, Carol dealt with her anger and grief while finding a safe and compassionate care community for her father. Then she began searching out ways she and her sons could stay connected with him.
“Dad loved big band music,” Carol says. “I bought every CD I could find. He loved to direct and listen to the music.”
Finding a Musical Bridge
Carol’s sons were very close to their grandfather. He had always been there for them, a vibrant, fun presence, celebrating their abilities, playing chess with them, and listening to their stories. When her sons saw that Grandfather was so changed he couldn’t even hug them and no longer understood the chessboard, they were devastated.
“They didn’t know how to bond with him,” Carol says.
Carol understood their reluctance to visit and gave them some space. She didn’t make the children feel guilty about their feelings, but she did want them to maintain a relationship with their grandfather. Tuning into music for connection came to the rescue.
The boys both played instruments and Carol urged them to take their clarinet and trumpet to the care community. At first, they were hesitant. They stood shyly before this new grandfather, barely able to blow out the notes. But at the end of their first short tune, Grandfather beamed and asked for an encore. The boys grinned and played more confidently. People came from down the hallways, wanting to hear the music.
“The boys and their music had made a connection,” Carol says. “All three of them were happy and relaxed.”
Creating Together to Build Connection
Carol continued to seek ways to help her sons feel comfortable during their visits. She also wanted them to feel a sense of accomplishment and to cherish their relationship with their grandfather.
Sometimes the boys took hand-drawn pictures to decorate the walls. Other times, they showed up with examples of science projects and told their grandpa about them. The boys brought chess pieces, old photos from Grandpa’s younger days, and games that they’d played with Grandpa. They invited their grandfather to share stories about these objects and often he did.
“It’s hard for young minds to accept such changes,” Carol says. “Their grief can slide under the radar. I was constantly looking for activities we could share, projects that were mutually engaging and that Grandpa could understand.”
Through it all, their mutual love of music kept them together.
For more information on the important work Carol is doing, visit her website: www.mindingourelders.com.
And treat yourself to her book, Minding Our Elders.
Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.
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Five Secrets For Making Date Night Great
I caught up with Nettie Harper and Kelly Gilligan, co-founders of Inspired Memory Care, Inc. as they were rushing down the streets of Manhattan, off to consult with a client. I loved hearing the city sounds, horns honking, cars edging past, a lone dog barking, as they shared their five secrets for making date night great. (I have changed the names in this story to protect people’s privacy.)
During my mother’s journey through dementia, my father was always seeking ways to stay connected with her. He would have loved the ideas in this article.
Five Secrets For Making Date Night Great!
Margaret slipped on a string of pearls and surveyed herself in the bathroom mirror. Her royal blue silk dress, one that her husband Harold had bought her for their 40th wedding anniversary, still looked good. She fingered her hair nervously and hoped this evening would go well. Their last weekly dinner date had been a disaster. Harold had felt uncomfortable in the restaurant, even though they’d chosen it together. He picked at his food and barely spoke a word. Margaret had to hold back tears as she looked around the brightly lit room and envied all the happy couples and families, laughing, talking, and savoring their food.
Tonight, she vowed, would be different. Tonight, she was prepared, coached by Nettie Harper and Kelly Gilligan of Inspired Memory Care, Inc, in Manhattan, NY.
She’d chosen a quiet restaurant and reserved a cozy corner table, away from the bustle. Harold’s face tightened as they strolled in, but she took his hand and he squeezed hers. After they settled into their seats and ordered their meal, the dreaded silence descended. She was about to say, “Do you remember the time we took my cousin from England out to dinner…?” but she bit her lip. Harold’s eyes went blank when she prodded him for specific memories.
Instead, Margaret unfolded an article on sailing, one of Harold’s passions, and offered it to him. “Could we read this together?” she asked. The large print made it easy to see and Harold began reading aloud, weaving in the open-ended questions Nettie and Kelly had written in for them to discuss.
“What does this make you think of?” he read, after a few moments.
“The sea,” Harold said.
Margaret took a turn reading aloud, and Harold leaned forward a little.
“Would you ever go out on such stormy seas?” she asked.
“If I felt strong I might,” Harold said. “I always liked sailing with you. Remember that time with the snow and the animals? Those big fish?”
Margaret smiled and took Harold’s hand.
“That was our whale watching cruise. I do remember. I really liked the penguins.”
“What did I like?” Harold asked.
“The glaciers,” she said. “And the dancing.”
In their work, Nettie and Kelly often coach care partners like Margaret, offering creative ways to stay connected with loved ones who are living with dementia. Their idea of bringing along an article on one of Harold’s favorite topics transformed the dinner into a time of wonderful sharing. On future date nights, Margaret continued to bring along articles on topics of great interest, as conversation starters.
Nettie and Kelly’s company, Inspired Memory Care, Inc. (IMC), is founded on the belief that older adults, both with and without memory impairment, should have access to life-enriching, esteem-building experiences, sharing their wisdom and pursuing their passions each day.
“We encourage couples and families to commit to rituals and set aside time together, just like you would without a memory impairment,” says Nettie. “Date night is an important part of the week, a chance to do something special and unique.”
“We coach people to ask open-ended questions, such as, ‘Would you rather..’ “Would you ever…’ ‘Tell me more about…’” Kelly says.
“‘Tell me more” is one of the strongest questions you can ask. Frequently words come flooding out.
After posing an open-ended question, they encourage care partners to wait, allow silence, and give people a chance to respond.
“If we jump in and give the answer, we’re taking away the strength of the individual,” they believe.
So what are the five secrets to a successful date night?
- Bring a conversational catalyst, such as an interesting article to discuss.
- Ask open-ended questions.
- Wait lovingly for the answers.
- Meet people where they are.
- Celebrate your time together.
Use these five secrets for making date night great and create a meaningful and connective atmosphere — for any couple or family — regardless of cognitive abilities!
Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.
