Dementia-friendly activities

A Stirring Tea Party Brings People Together

It took us an hour to prepare for our festive tea party and we all enjoyed every moment of it. Jennifer Walker, RN, BSN, Clinical Community Liaison, Kansas City Hospice & Palliative Care, knows how to throw a party. She brought pastel table cloths, a charming complement of paisley-printed cups and plates, along with tiered cookie holders.  

For the ladies, she offered colorful fascinators (small hats you can clip into your hair) and bright boas. For the men, she had bow ties and top hats. She also brought the ingredients for tea time sandwiches and a variety of cheeses, veggies and meats. Kathi Michaels and Heidi Underwood from Leawood Gardens, and Lainey Berry, from the Law Office of Love & Blomquist, generously provided an array of baked treats, including legendary cookies from McClain’s Bakery and delectable lemon squares. 

Our guest speaker, Emilie Jackson from Emilie’s French Teas, shared information about the international history, social rituals, and health benefits that come with sipping a cup of tea. After her talk, everyone set to work creating cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches, with the crusts cut off, of course.  We were able to smell several different teas and each person chose a favorite to savor. The food and drink were delicious but even better were the conversations. Each table got into discussions about tea, coffee, life, and more.  One guest enjoyed a tete a tete in French with Emilie, who is originally from France. 

The gathering was so much fun and so engaging, with all the aromas, tastes, and textures, that none of us wanted to leave.  It took us even longer to clean up after the stirring tea party, because we had to help eat the leftovers!

Click on this link for the inside story on our tea party: Memory Cafe, Tea Party

Here are a few of our favorite tea quotes:

Where there’s tea there’s hope. Arthur Wing Pinero

If you are cold, tea will warm you; if you are too heated, it will cool you; If you are depressed, it will cheer you; If you are excited, it will calm you.  William Ewart Gladstone

I like the pause that tea allows. Waris Ahluwalia

A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Eleanor Roosevelt

Please join us for our next cafe when the great Nick Haines brings us the inside story on KC local news. We can’t wait!

Our team, ready for tea

Thanks to our sponsors:

The Kanas City Public Library

The Alzheimer’s Association

The Creativity Connection, Deborah Shouse and Ron Zoglin

Kansas City Hospice and Palliative Care

Arts & Aging KC

KC FilmFest

Prairie Elder Care

The Villages of Jackson Creek Memory Care

Dennis and Carol McCurdy, Community Volunteers

 

Please email Deborah at myinfo@pobox.com if you need additional information.

And, we hope you can join us for our next events.

 

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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76 Trombones Star in June’s Movies and Memories Event

In The Music Man, people flock to hear about the idea for a band. They imagine the shiny instruments, the colorful uniforms, and the scruffy boys in their small Iowa town transformed into revered members of a marching band.

In the Movies and Memories showing of this iconic film, life imitated art. During intermission, the Dirty Force Brass Band marched down the aisles of the Truman Forum, playing a zesty jazz number. People from the first floor of the library raced down the stairs, wanting to get closer to the music. Many of them stayed to watch the second half of the movie!

This was the longest movie we’ve shown at our series and it was a big success. What a treat to see it on the big screen and to enjoy a very young and adorable Ronny Howard as Winthrope, the agile and the charismatic Robert Preston wooing the melodic Shirley Jones, as Marian the Librarian. And is there anything better that seeing a movie partially set in a library while you’re sitting in a library.!

You can click on this link to get the flavor of the event:

Movies and Memories: The Music Man

“We loved the music,” one family told us.

“This is my daughter’s favorite musical,” a mom told us, smiling at her four-year-old daughter. 

“All this is free?” one of our guests said, relishing her popcorn and cookie.

Every two months, the Movies and Memories treats the Kansas City community to a dementia and family friend film, along with live music and delicious snacks, and a surprise at the end. Everyone who attended was excited to take home various kinds of colorful noise makers.   #

 

 

 

Please join us for our next dementia-friendly events:

Mark your calendars for these upcoming events:

JULY

Tu 17 – Memory Café: Tea Party

AUGUST

Tu 21 – Memory Café: Nick Haines from KCPT

Su 26 – Movies & Memories: Around the World / KC Boys Choir

SEPTEMBER

Tu 18 – Memory Café: Nelson-Atkins

OCTOBER

Tue 16 – Memory Café: Wornall House

Su 21 – Movies & Memories: Moana, uke players, hula dancers

NOVEMBER

* Wed 14 – Memory Café: Dog & Pony & Pig Show

DECEMBER

Su 9 – Movies & Memories: holiday movie shorts & cookie decorating

Tu 18 – Memory Café: Santa & Symphony

Thanks to all our teammates who help make these gatherings happen: 

The Kanas City Public Library

The Alzheimer’s Association

The Creativity Connection, Deborah Shouse and Ron Zoglin

Kansas City Hospice and Palliative Care

Arts & Aging KC

KC FilmFest

Prairie Elder Care

The Villages of Jackson Creek Memory Care

Dennis and Carol McCurdy, Community Volunteers

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Connected in the Land of Dementia: Easy Ideas and Free Events

The more research we read, the more people who are living with dementia we listen to, the more care partners we consult, the more we understand the power of keeping engaged, inspired, and connected in the land of dementia.
Along with Jennifer Walker, RN, BSN, Clinical Community Liaison from Kansas City Hospice, we’ll be sharing ideas for staying connected on Wednesday June 27, at 6:00 at Santa Marta.
If you’re interested, please join us for this free event.  We’re also including information on two free dementia-friendly gatherings happening in June in KC.
 
Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Father’s Day Tips: Four Fabulous Ways to Celebrate When Dad has Dementia

“Dad always liked a big Father’s Day celebration,” my friend told me. “But now he’s deep into dementia; I’m not sure he would notice.” When Ron’s dad Frank relaxed into dementia, Ron and I often struggled with how to approach Father’s Day. Even though Frank didn’t know what day it was, we still wanted to honor Frank as a father. Here are four fabulous ways to celebrate when Dad has dementia.

Reminiscing over Favorite Foods

We brought in a meal created from some of Franks’ current favorites and some gems from the past. Frank’s wife Mollie made her world-famous brownies and legendary rice pilaf.  We bought cooked steaks and baked potatoes and as we ate, we talked about meals past. Inspired by the familiar tastes, smells and textures, Frank recited one of this favored old phrases: “I’m cool to other women but I’m hot tamale (Hot to Mollie.)”

Naming His Tunes

Frank and Mollie liked to dance occasionally and for one celebration, we printed out song lyrics and sang Frank and Mollie some of their old favorites. We didn’t sound like Sinatra or Fitzgerald as we warbled “It Had to be You,” or “Stardust” or “Three Coins in the Fountain” but we did sound sincere!

Life Stories

Ron and I created a HERO Project for Frank, a story-scrap book that incorporated highlights and photos from Frank’s life, along with a meaningful storyline. We also created one for Mollie. We read the HERO Projects with Frank and Mollie, using the stories as conversational catalysts. Frank enjoyed the experience; we enjoyed reading aloud with Frank and remembering shared experiences.

Celebrating Special Qualities and Life Lessons

As we sat together, we talked about some of Frank’s many stellar qualities, which included his easy-going nature, his natural charm, his entrepreneurial spirit, and his willingness to try new things. “Did I really do that?” Frank asked, as Ron described the bowling alley Frank and his brother owned and operated.  “You did,” Ron said.“That was really something,” Frank said.

Frank’s comment summed up our Father’s Day celebration: it was really something. Just being together was wonderful. And taking time to really celebrate Frank with a tender mixture of food, photos, stories, and conversation was pure magic.

For more ideas on Naming His Tunes, please visit the exciting MusicandMemory.org

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Creating Low-Cost, Engaging Activities

Creating Low-Cost, Engaging Activities

Alice looks blankly at the magazine as Kimberly Clark turns the pages, pointing to various pictures.  “What do you think of this? Or this?” she asks, pointing to a rose, a table set for tea, a bundt cake. When Kimberly touches a picture of a train, Alice smiles. Although Alice, who is living with dementia, can no longer tell her own stories, Kimberly has heard tales of her adventurous past. When Alice was a restless young woman, she and her new husband occasionally jumped on a freight train and took a ride. This photo will be the centerpiece of the collage they are making. As Program Coordinator at ARC Jackson County, a lifespan respite program in Medford, Oregon, Kimberly is an expert at creating low-cost, engaging activities for people who are living with dementia.

Creating collages is easy, inexpensive, and relaxing. Medical offices will donate their old magazines and she also collects periodicals from friends. If Kimberly knows her client’s family stories, she seeks magazines that have illustrations relevant to them. She lays out a variety of magazines and asks, “Which one do you want to look at first?” They sit together and Kimberly slowly turns pages, listening for comments, watching body language, and facial expressions. When she sees interest or excitement, she may ask, “What are you looking at?” or “What does this remind you of?” She then tears out the picture and sets it aside, so it’s not distracting. Once they have a nice group of photos, they start on the collage, cutting and pasting together.

“The project is empowering and can spark discussion,” Kimberly says. “Plus, we can take our time and we have something artistic and interesting to discuss when it’s done.”

She often uses the finished collage again and again as a conversation starter. 

Kimberly also engages people through simple nature walks, where they notice the colors, shapes, wildlife, and collect vibrantly colored leaves, pinecones, acorns, and more. 

She celebrates people’s individuality by writing their name on watercolor paper in black marker and inviting them to fill in the letters and surroundings with colored pencils. 

When people need a little exercise and a good laugh, she invites her dog to join them in a sparkling game of balloon volleyball. Her dog is an expert at keeping the balloon aloft and soon everyone is supporting him in this uplifting endeavor. 

“Even if you’re not in a good mood, doing some kind of art, exercise, or creative project makes you stop and appreciate the present,” Kimberly says. 

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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KC Memory Cafe Creates The Sounds of Music: A Visit from the Kansas City Symphony

If there’s anything more fun than a one-man band, it’s a one-woman orchestra. On May 15, Margaret Halloin graced the cafe with an astonishing array of instruments. She invoked our inner Itzhak when she introduced us to the versatility of the violin. One moment she used a series of chords to transport us to a hoedown; then she built the tension by creating the sounds of of a chase scene.  We were mellow with the cello and sliding cool with the trombone. We could all feel the beat as she tapped and shook a variety of percussion instruments. And then, she invited all of us to play
Instantly the room transformed from a quietly listening group of adults to a boisterous band of emerging musicians. One couple beat on a drum together. A woman tentatively held the violin. When Margaret helped her coax a sound of out it, she burst into delighted laughter. People tried the cello, the gong, the bongos, and the French horn. Even better than the sounds of music were the spurts of laughter and the lively conversations. After our chaotic impromptu concert, we gathered in small groups to talk about the music in our lives. One man had been a professional pianist. Several people had played in marching bands. Some had never touched an instrument. Until today. 
“Music is one thing that is universal and that brings us all together,” our cafe facilitator, Jennifer Walker, RN, BSN, told us.  
We all applauded. We had gone from a one-woman orchestra to a 50-person orchestra in a matter of an hour and we were feeling energized, happy, and filled with the sounds of music.
Here are some tips for creating your own instrumental experience:
  • Invite several musical kids/friends/relatives to come over, tell you about their instrument, and help you make a sound on it. 
  • Have fun playing imaginary instruments along with a big band or big orchestra music. 
  • Listen to favorite instrumentals and talk about any memories evoked.
  • Look at pictures of various instruments and share stories. Ask open-ended questions with no right or wrong answers, such as, “ What do you think about the piano?” “What are some of your favorite instruments?”
 Many thanks to the Kansas City Symphony for coming to play with us. 
A special thanks to Margaret Halloin and to Stephanie Brimhall, Education Manager. For more information about the Kansas City  Symphony, please visit: http://www.kcsymphony.org
For more information about the KC Memory Cafe, please visit: https://www.facebook.com/kcmemorycafe/

Please join us for our next events: 

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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KC Memory Cafe: Great Weather Information Inspires Great Conversations

Karli Ritter is a self-described “weather nerd.” When this Fox 4 meteorologist finished her lively talk at April’s KC Memory Cafe, we all had a bit of that “weather nerd” fever in us. We listened intently as Karli described her early morning routine, up at 4:30 a.m., studying the weather maps and data so she could formulate a forecast. She detailed the complexities of being an integral part of a five-hour show: she actually appears on TV 90 times during the Kansas City Fox morning show! Her talk reminded us that great weather information inspires great conversations.

Karli has a love for storms and we were delighted with our “tornado” experience, courtesy of the Kansas City Public Library staff. We used a special coupler to link one empty liter bottle with one half full with water. Then we shook and turned it upside down and voila! a little tunnel tornado formed in the water! Each person was fascinated by this experiment. That led us to a conversation about personal weather experiences. Our attendees had gone through hurricanes, earthquakes, dust storms, tornadoes, nor’easter’s and much more.

Our discussion continued on the way out, with guests describing the varied weather in the Kansas Flint Hills, rainbows they’d seen, family members who loved forecasting the weather, and long hot summers and long cold winters.  

To watch our weather wonders, click here.

Bringing the weather home.

To start a weather conversation in your own family or community, use music as a catalyst. Play songs such as: You Are My Sunshine, Stormy Weather, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head, The Sunny Side of the Street, Let It Snow. After each song, ask an open-ended question. “What do you like about snow?” Or,” What seasons do you like most?” Or “Have you ever been in a really big storm?” Or,”What is your favorite kind of weather?”

You can also play iconic movie clips that feature weather, such as the joyous tap dancing scene in Singing in the Rain, or the tornado scene in The Wizard of Oz. 

Dramatic weather photos and pictures can also trigger memories and comments. 

Thanks to our Cafe Team and thanks for those who visited.

Our next adventure: May 15, 10:30 to 12:00, Plaza Library

Music to Our Ears: The Kansas City Symphony Brings Us Note-worthy Instruments

You’ve heard them as part of the orchestra. Now you’ll be meeting selected instruments first-hand, as the Symphony’s Margaret Halloin joins us for this delightful interactive session. Enjoy refreshments and interesting conversations as we learn more about the sounds of music.

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Movies and Memories: Laughter Triumphs Over Weather

It’s a Sunday morning in early April and we were excited about our Movies and Memories laughter program that afternoon at 2:00.

Then, the unthinkable happened. It started to snow, blanketing the daffodils and tulips with just enough flakes to make people want to cozy up at home. 

What did we do? Laugh, of course.

Laughter was the theme of our April program and we had excerpts from the inestimable Mr. Bean to anchor our program.

As Emily from the Kansas City Public Library, Plaza Branch,  made our popcorn and other library staff readied the technology, we accepted the fact that we might have only our intrepid volunteers in the audience. We all vowed to have a great time anyway.

Musician Richelle Basgall regaled us with songs and stories and our guests began to arrive.  Soon we had about 30 people who ignored the weather and were ready for fun. And fun we had. One of our volunteers brought us sumptuous cookies and small cakes. The aroma of fresh popcorn warmed us all and we laughed our way through a hilarious clip of Mr. Bean playing miniature golf. Then we passed out jokes, which we laughingly shared with each other. (What kind of sandwiches do astronauts eat: Launch meat! Why did the oil painting get sent to jail? It was framed!)

After watching Mr. Bean’s laundromat escapades, we had a laughter yoga session. We didn’t have to worry about traditional physical yoga postures—laughter yoga includes clapping, gestures, playfulness, and breathing. Everyone was a hearty laugher and we were all relaxed and smiling as we watched Mr. Bean’s horror as he tried to cope with raw oysters at a fancy restaurant.

Our ending surprise was a delicious way to take Mr. Bean home— gourmet jelly beans!!

Click here for a short video experience. 

Stay tuned for our next Movies and Memories event in August!

Want to have a movies and memories event right in your own home?

Here are a few tips:

If you’d like to make this an intergenerational experience, select a movie or clips you all might enjoy.

Choose a time of day when the person living with dementia will have good energy.

Get your favorite movie treats ready.

Create times to pause and chat about what you’ve seen. 

Print out simple jokes as a great way to spread the laughter.

If you wish, offer a surprise at the end, either something that reminds you to laugh or smile. And if you like sweets, our jelly beans were a huge hit! With all those flavors, you have a lot to talk about!

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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The Power of Play in the Dementia Journey

Josh Rice, a theatre maker and teaching artist,  discovered the power of play in the dementia journey when he was still in graduate school.  As part of a school project, he partnered with a senior living community on a therapeutic puppetry and improv-based program for people living with dementia.

Together, Josh and the seniors designed and made puppets, and created performances that included songs, personal stories, and comedy. As he worked with the new artists, he noticed people were using their puppets to tell stories. They expressed emotions and they enjoyed the chance to play and have fun. Staff applauded the participants’ short-term memory gains and tactile improvements.

“Plus, we were creating exciting work and performing for people,” Josh says.

Puppetry

One afternoon, a woman who was having a difficult day burst into the puppetry classroom. She was non-verbal but acted out aggressively in a way that could have potentially agitated others. As Josh and the students were rehearsing, she walked in and before she could disrupt the class, Josh made eye contact with her, and gently touched her shoulder. He quietly talked to her and invited her to join in or sit and watch. Within minutes she calmed down.

“I put a puppet in her hand and all of a sudden her language came back. It was like a switch had been turned on,” Josh says.  This woman filled him with hope and inspired him. “I want people to understand that people who are living with dementia sometimes need us to be patient and keep giving them chances,” he says.

Being in the Moment

Josh knew the potential power of theatrical play and experimented with improv sessions for people living with dementia. The experiment worked.

“For improv, you have to listen and react,” Josh says.  “The past or future doesn’t matter; it’s all about the present moment.”

He created a safe, nurturing, and creative atmosphere, offering structured improvisations, and invited his new improv team to play.

“They loved it and it was a thrill to watch them discovering new things and coming up with creative dialogues,” Josh says. “Play is an integral part of our lives and most of us need more of it.”

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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A Memorable Meeting: KC Memory Cafe

You know what it’s like, creating a program series for the first time. You try to think of everything, knowing that you’ve probably left something out. You hope plenty of people will attend and worry that no one will show up. The weather teases you, threatening snow or rain, thunder or wind. The “what if’s” line up, a mean group of scolders: “What if the elevator breaks? What if the speaker doesn’t show up? What if the snacks don’t arrive? What if the KC Memory Cafe doesn’t work!”

But, as most of us know, worry isn’t really that useful.

The debut of the KC Memory Cafe was beyond our highest expectations! On March 20, 2018, at 10:30 at the Plaza Library, the educators from the Kansas City Zoo showed up early, riding the elevator down to the lower level with their exotic offerings. The weather was perfect and a lovely group of 40 plus care partners and people living with dementia joined us, delighting in the delicious snacks.  And they were even more delighted with the program, all of us laughing at the antics of the cockatoo, leaning forward to see the Vietnamese Tree Frog cozied in his glass aquarium, and petting the chinchilla, with a fluff of fur that felt like a cloud.

“I love this animal,” one attendee said, smiling at the blue tongued skink. 

“This is the softest fur I’ve ever experienced,” said another, reveling in the chinchilla. 

“That bird is so funny,” said another, laughing as the cockatoo bounced up and down, “dancing.” 

After learning about the animals, we talked about our own pet memories. It was a wonderful morning and we can’t wait for our next Memory Cafe, on April 17, 2018. 

Click here so you can experience the fun of the Cafe.

https://drive.google.com/open? id= 1mU8Iw83lGbhw6FeAVJ3VQ8xhe75qt YYm

Want to join us on April 17 for our next Cafe?                        Here’s the scoop!

Weather Wonders: The Inside Story

Metereologist Karli Ritter Reveals Weather Mysteries 10:30 am on Tuesday, April 17, 2018. Plaza Library Lower Level.   Join us for the KC Memory Cafe, a free event dedicated to creating educational and social experiences for people who are living with memory loss and for their care partners. 

Our Team — Standing: Emily Cox, April Roy, Carol and Dennis McCurdy. Sitting: Ron Zoglin and Deborah Shouse, Jennifer Walker, Mandy Shoemaker

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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